What Is This?

If I were to ask the question “what do you want in your life”? Could you give me a definitive answer? After asking this question time and time again the responses I get vary wildly. There are people who have grandiose plans of fame and wealth. Others just want pain from long lasting injuries, autoimmune disease or type 2 diabetes to go away. Some people don't even think of themselves at all. Their idea of happiness is mending relationships with children or people in their lives they care about. Most have taken steps to “fix the problem” but failed attempts have left them feeling stuck and trapped in a life they don't exactly love.

I don't think this is due to lack of effort. Life doesn't come with an owner's manual. Is it possible solutions to these problems lie in areas of our lives we don't even see yet? How does change actually work? The actual thing inside of us that we call “me”, How does that work? We think and solve problems but seem to do the same things over and over no matter how hard we try. What is that because on paper it doesn't make sense. It's actually an interesting question if you think about it deep enough.

After conquering my addiction with drugs, alcohol, and many other things in my life I became obsessed with this question. How and why? I never went to rehab. I didn't force myself to attack my problems head on like I did in the past. I started educating myself and doing seemingly weird unorthodox things out of desperation. 6 months later I was a different person. It's still the craziest thing to me. That was 5 years ago and since then I've been on a mission to understand why. I've spent hundreds of hours listening to books, podcasts, and lectures on Neuroscience, philosophy, anthropology, psychology, and any other ology I could get my hands on.

What I have found is that change doesn’t work by attacking things you don't actually understand. It works better to first focus on small steps to build mental resilience and a base knowledge of the process. Depression, drug addiction, physical health and mental health problems are giant tasks to conquer. So many things go into this process so it seems impossible. The goal is to build a generic mental scaffolding you can fall back on that allows you to see bigger problems in your life through a different lens. Once the scaffolding is created you start to naturally build a new house on the foundation from the ground up. It's a beautiful thing that feels good once you see it.

It's truly fascinating and this website is the culmination of my findings. I Started journaling from the beginning so I captured my entire process on paper by accident. Everything on this site is free. I don't think you can pick your passion in life, I think you find it. For some reason this is mine so here we are. There are a few different pages on this site. One page has a list of practices you can start doing. They act like a mental gym to build up resilience and awareness. Another page has short educational videos I've categorized from youtube. Most of them are 5-15 minutes long so you can learn at your own pace in short bursts. The 30/30 challenge page is something I put together to give a step by step process you can follow for one month. Explore the site and see if you can't make something work in your own life. It's worth a shot. Feel free to contact me at any time. I love nerding out on this stuff.

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